Purgatory & Redemption

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi chi entrata!

By the time I post this I’ll be gone. Gone from here that is. I have made it all the way to Al-Udeid from Balad, so I guess the worst part is over. I’m out of a war zone and here in safe calm Al-Udeid in the Emirate of Qatar. If you have never seen where Qatar is on the globe, look for it, and you’ll understand what I’m about to tell you. Qatar is right on the eastern coast of Saudi Arabia. Qatar is HOT; really, really, hot. Now, I live in south central Texas which gives me a great frame of reference to evaluate hotness (temp, not chicks), and the temperature in Texas doesn’t even compare. It is late May here and it is easily over 100° everyday.

It feels like a blow dryer is on you wherever you go. There are no plants or trees, no shade, just flat hot blinding white sand for as far as you can see; and then farther than you could imagine.

I have been confined to this purgatory by an oversight. Everyone else I have served with is home, and I am stuck. I have become a low priority cargo item in a active war zone.

I have guesses as to why I am here but it’s not important to point fingers. It wasn’t intentional. Everyone left me three days ago and I can only patiently wait for the angelic charter flight that will take me home.

There is nothing to do here, but wait. Wait in this hot boring void for salvation. I am sure this is what purgatory would be like were there such a thing. I have been to Hell (Iraq), now I’m separated from all I love and hold dear, without friends, advocates or company. I have no purpose. I’m sitting here haunted by the memories of the carnage in Balad. I think about all the heroics and death. What I accomplished, and what I failed at. I’m haunted by memories of my Wife and children, who I can call, but like the torment of Tantalus they are out of reach. I have prayed fervently to my God to deliver me from here. I sent word to my family to do the same. Despite my belief that he will intervene for me I am unbelievably discouraged. (To further reference Classical Lit. 101, I am Odysseus, condemned to wander after the war unable to go home. Feel free to draw comparisons to this as well.)

Troops that have served together should never be separated, ever. That is why part of the treatment for battle fatigue is getting a soldier back, and to the camaraderie of his unit as soon as possible. I think I understand why now. My experiences were certainly not as harrowing as the average soldier, but I don’t feel they were light-hearted either. During my exit interview we were asked if we had seen wounded or dead soldiers and civilians.

“Of course!” I answered.

“Oh, But you’re hospital” the psych tech said. “That’s your job.”

Well, bullshit! Of course I have seen many dead people. Maybe even a lot of dead people compared to the common man, but that doesn’t change the horrendous quality and huge quantity I have seen while serving there. I wanted to go home just like everyone does, but I deserved to go home with my unit. All troops should return home triumphant.

I have set up camp in the passenger terminal and I am not leaving unless it is on a plane. Roughly eighteen hours from now a charter flight will land and I will board it. I want to be right here in case anything happens. I fear that if something goes wrong I will lose it, and I do not exaggerate when I say that. At least they’ll have to evac me home as a psych case if I freak out on someone. In addition, the poor person who has to sit with me on the trip home is in for a treat. I showered this morning but in the heat, my desert uniform and I have begun to smell pretty ripe. If I do a PTA in the john I might be good for a few more hours. I smell like an Iraqi. So I’ll stop writing for now, when I post this I hope it is from home. Wish me luck . . .

Cheap Riverfront Property

1500 years behind in the world.

Hi everyone!

Ok I said I wouldn’t write again but I couldn’t help doing it. We are getting the new influx of people from the states and it fantastic. The staff is swelling . . . Hold on; I mean the work force is increasing. (less sexual innuendo in that wording) So I have a lot of teaching to do, which is nice. I like to teach. Probably has to do with my know-it-all nature; I have accepted that I just can’t help it. I’m too old to adjust the larger aspects of my personality.

So I have packed my bags, and have begun to say goodbye to Balad. I want to say I’ll miss this place but, Nah. I’ll be glad to get back to the USA. You just can’t imagine how good we have it in the US. Our poor are rich. I’m sure this will raise hackles with some but it is true. Our poorest have opportunities others in the world never will see.

This little part of Iraq that I have witnessed could be really nice if Americans populated it. We would begin to invest in the land and infrastructure. We would band together to improve our surroundings. Americans would build big houses on the Tigris. Our people would dam portions of it for electricity, (and for fishing). We’d make mud bricks into an aesthetically pleasing architectural feature. We would create vineyards and make fine wines. Americans would fool people into thinking the mud here was healthy for you and put up spas. We would also create tourism, luring the entire world with slogans like “Back to the Cradle” and “Where it All Began”. It would be so nice that we’d have to build a wall to keep the illegal Iranians out. We’d have them picking dates for less than minimum.

We believe in the future as Americans. We invest in the future. Americans are not fatalistic we are optimistic. We don’t care if Allah wills it, who cares if Allah wills it. We believe God tells us to prosper. Don’t take your talents and hide them, invest them. Use what God has given you. Work hard and you will be blessed. Despite the modern secular nature of our government we still embrace these Christian ideas. Iraqis could learn from us but they are hindered in that every faction of Islam believes that government should be from Allah. No separation of religion from government, Shari’a law for everyone. But every little faction believes they have the truth. That is why they teeter on the brink of chaos. “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar, and to God the things that are God’s”, with this quote Jesus freed all westerners from the tyranny of religion. Now those of you who know me know that I am devout. But imagine an America with a state religion. Now imagine it with one you don’t agree with. Take it further and imagine it with Old Testament laws enacted, ‘Eye for an Eye’ laws. Are you getting the picture? Now imagine it with those laws enforced by humans, only male humans, with all the inherent flaws we engender. This is what Mohammed preached and this is the possible reality of a world under Islamic control. Totalitarianism is bad, religious totalitarianism would be hell, as oft demonstrated through out this part of the world.

So as I leave here I can only pray for the salvation of the Middle East. Modest salvation delivered in the form of American SECULAR democracy with free market capitalism; and Profound Salvation from the deprivations of Islam. As a Christian I feel a degree of guilt that I’m not staying to teach the Iraqis, and for convenience sake I’ll hide behind my government’s orders to not proselytize (weak as I am). But if the Christian message cannot be spread, we should therefore not encourage any other faith. Let the American President and his staff say truly to the American people and to the people of the world that Islamic hegemony and Shari’a law are acceptable for no one to live under and that the world would better be rid of them. I fear that my government is too ‘diplomatic’ to speak that truth despite how strongly they might believe it, and Iraq and our armies suffer needlessly for that.

Every fifth round is a tracer. . .

Truthiness, is a real word. Mom said so.

Stephen Colbert, perhaps the funniest commentator on TV, tackled the administration and the Whitehouse Press Corps at their annual dinner. He always presents biting satire but despite the high quality of his material you can hear the crickets chirp and sense the unease from the crowd as he zips through his shtick. (see links below) This guy is so good he has surpassed his mentor Jon Stewart, in little than a year. But the Press Corps were too shocked to laugh. I’m left thinking they must take themselves a little too seriously. Here are my highlights:

“I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.”

“I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be you Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.”

“By the way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Somebody from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.”

“I believe in democracy. I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.”

“Now, there may be an energy crisis. This president has a very forward-thinking energy policy. Why do you think he's down on the ranch cutting that brush all the time? He's trying to create an alternative energy source. By 2008 we will have a mesquite-powered car!”

“As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side.”

“See who we've got here tonight. General Moseley, Air Force Chief of Staff. General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. They still support Rumsfeld. Right, you guys aren't retired yet, right? Right, they still support Rumsfeld.”

“Look, by the way, I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble: don't let them retire! Come on, we've got a stop-loss program; let's use it on these guys. I've seen Zinni and that crowd on Wolf Blitzer. If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you can stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. Come on.”

“Mayor Nagin! Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city! Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I'd like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center.”

http://movies.crooksandliars.com/WH-Dinner-Colbert.wmv -LoRES

http://movies.crooksandliars.com/WH-Dinner-Colber.mov
-HiRES (huge file)